Next year will be MY year. The 'I' word stands out more than 'you'. I make every single decision on my own, even if the consequence is having a halved-lifespan. Someone in da house is more than happy to see me approaching my shortened life. Dont be fooled by facial expressions and faked emotions, they are easily manupulated and shaped in a way to make it look super duper convincing. I'm not a kid anymore. (=

Have you heard of igongzai ?

http://www.igongzai.com/

Dont ever EVER waste your precious hard-earn/saved money to spend on it. I guarantee you, 100% disappointment in return. Trust me.


I think I've hurt Muscles a lot. He is really very sad.
And he made me want to cry many times.

Maybe i oversee too much on the bad side rather than on the good side. What's good?
- He is very patient when training me and yet i'm very impatient with myself for having no strength to train.
- He never failed to text me with his smiles in his msgs. And yet i hardly do that.
- He doesnt gets angry/throws temper at me unless i started it.

You dont want me to list down all the bads. It's scary. But Mel thinks I shouldnt just hide my feelings.

Sometimes i hide cos i want to avoid big quarrels. Big quarrels evolved from small petty matters are the silliest. Yea? Nod your head pls. Thnks.

My biggest fear is gone (:

Thank you for coming, even though you are late, but at least you came (:

My feelings went "numb" this morning. Totally lost for words already.

You can start a relationship with hell lots of effort... and you can destroy it with a single action.



I really hate it when a person doesnt keep his words.

my dear is sad.

my love is fading.

tdy, all in all, isnt a gd one.

I am about 2 weeks late, one down, one more to go!

WARNING! - This is gonna be quite a long or boring post.

I read my diary. On 27/7/07, my entry was something to do abt answering some relationship questions, or some issues regarding you and your partner.

After reading the questions and answers, i feel that my answers nv change. And i felt really emotional when i read my answers. Cos back then when i was single and i really really love this guy, i feel that the love i would have given to him, is exactly what Muscles is experiencing right now.

The question and answer that i really feel it in my heart (well, its nt in a gd way) is;
Q: If you had a magic wand, what would you change about your mate?
A: I would make him be more open to me. Don't ignore me even when he is at his busiest moment, at least let me know what he is going through, I promise i will understand. I want the "old" him where he would come late online just to talk and "see" me for a few short minutes, even if its just 1 min, its ok. (But i think partly the reason why these are not happening because he has another girl in his heart already.)

Q: What if this never change? What if he will always remain the way he is now?
A: At least memories remain, rather than it did not happen b4. I got to experience what it is like when someone treasures you dearly..
(This is the key question and answer i feel most emotional at...surprisingly, when i'm single, i tend to think in a more matured way.)

I'm sorry to say, but at times i do feel i'm taken for granted. You can tell how much you are treasured, i'm not blind to be unable to realise it. It just takes a lil effort to show how much you really treasure the people around you. The saying goes; its better to give than to receive.
(I've given a lot)

It is true like what i said 2 years ago, Love is not the pillar of life.

It sux to have nothing...

And I regret snacking on dried cranberries just now. shet. I have the tendency to think abt snacks after meals. Muscles will kill me. No more carbs for the rest of the day!!

Dear M, I really really hope you will come. pls.

These few days = Terrible!

I've been sick and the temperature goes up and down like a roller coaster.
36.3 -> 38.1 -> 37.9 -> 38.5 -> 36.9 -> 37.7

Just what is happening? Did i get H1N1 vaccine or H1N1 virus??

What sucks most is i cant go to the gym!!!! zzzzzzz

I guess it's a slip-up to know me, the real me, the true me, only me... and my prison life.

I'm expecting him to give up man. Just give the future a chance, dont be tied down by restrictions. You're still young.

what the hell?

You want me to be a 40-year-old-virgin is it? What the damn hell is the use of keeping the aforementioned 'report book of my primary school' for my future children.. FUTURE CHILDREN???

Did i just had a hearing malfunction? where are you expecting my future children to come from? drop from heaven? shot gun? one night stands?

it makes no sense in what you say.totally.

i dont know if giving up or fighting for it is worth afterall. i'm just tired of their thinking. just who can survived it?

"the one who love less will have more power in the relationship."

I know what love is like, i know. Sometimes, loneliness is inevitable. What you want may not be what you get.

shingz. i think i'm running out of cash!

It happened today.

California I'm waiting for you. X)

Haha!

thank you, Muscles.

HEHE! Today i'm free the whole day! No tuition. No school. Shall have a really good rest. So here's today's agenda:

Stay at Home
Complete my reading of Angel Uncovered
Get some kip in the afternoon
Anticipate the effects of Mel's product that's gonna put me through the day (i hope i dont have to head to the washroom when halfway working out at the gym)
Sweat out at the gym
Eat healthy meals today to compensate my sinful eatings ytd (plus no detox somemore-.-)

AND... i think i should get my hands on my Socio and maybe Econs in the night.

If everything goes well in order, I should be able to catch gossipgirl's S2E7 later at night. Tt's if i can be bothered to.

In a state of Indolence.

People gripe about work, school, travelling. While I gripe about time, weather and I'm deprived of rest and sleeps. And the truth is, people are never satisfied with what they have.

I wonder what am I doing ? at all?

When people wants to get close to you, they always have a motive. Is it true? I do not wish to come to a quandary. That's why sometimes i can have quite a dismissive attitude.

3 honest truths about me & my busy-life business:
#1. I have a busy and hectic schedule
#2. ONLY when i say to you that i am busy, then leave me alone. If i've NEVER say it to you, don't assume.
#3. Depending who you are, if i think you are worth my time, no matter how busy i am, i will make time for you.

TOTALLY KNACKERED.

That's it. I've concluded my night.

Recently I had a timetable destruction w/o being informed. What a surprise hur?

Thank God last Friday was the breakthrough. Finally moved on. like finally.

It seems i'm too skint to catch movies, having missed dont-know-how-many movies already till i've lost count. Well, the clock is still ticking. Before my matured look betrayed my impersonated identity as a "student" from TP, i'd better find time b4 its too late. Expired.

xoxo Gossip Girl. - Thumbs up.

I was on the brink of frustration. People are just out there to let you be succumbed to temptation. Temptation to resort to physical/verbal violence.

Such people are an absolute pain in the ass.

DOTS.

Did the blade just sliced across my skin?

OUCH!

The sight of my previous post just upsets me. Urgh! I was totally crestfallen man.. I didn't make it! ))))=

Dreams are emails from ghosts.

The old me is dead and gone.

I must get some kip. now.

Tmr is another day before i hear the roosters let out their noise.

Let me pass tmr! I wanna move on!

I'm tired after everything. every single thing.

I'm exhausted to the bone.

And i'm pretty upset with the outcome and the whole storyline of Carol Mason's Send Me A Lover. The only entertaining part is Vivien but all-in-all. I kinda struggled to read finish the book. I would only give it a 1.5 star out of 5.

Alright! So what's next?

I was really knackered ytd when i came home from school. I guess on the days when I zonked out feeling totally drained, i will have the tendency to have dreams. Is it true that you only have dreams when the night before you are totally worn out? Hmmm...

I did had a dream last night. And it was about you. suprisingly. out of the blue. I remember vaguely what the dream was about btwn us, and i remember one scene; we were gonna play mahjong. Haha!

Given 2 options; either (i) just feel hurt or (ii) feel hurt and wasted some money on travelling.
Which will you choose?


I think the answer is pretty obvious.

Actually now i can fathom how it feels like when a person just keeps ranting his/her incessant complaints/whinings until it's really capable of causing my ear drums to bleed. Well, the truth is, one doesnt need to let the whole wide world know how unhappy or annoyed you are, cause your face speaks. The words "I-AM-VERY-PISSED-OFF" is conspicuously, plastered on your face.

However, whiny people sometimes are just oblivious that they are getting on people's nerves and assaulting their ear drums. Hence, just freakin' get something; a cloth, tissue paper, newspaper or whatever crap and forcefully shoved it in their mouth. End of story.

Give my ears some peace.

Sometimes it is worth sacrificising your precious sleeps for a page turner. But developing pimples for it? i'll revise that thought.

if all plans are going very smoothly, i would have an income of 600 bucks by the end of October. Hopefully. $600 to cover hell loads of expenses. Transport being the main factor of my expenses.

Hahaha I feel so accomplished. Guess how many books I've been reading over the past few days man? I couldn't believe this year was practically the first time in my entire life that i've read dont know? I can name you 10 novels i've read man...

My Best Friend's Girl - Dorothy Koomson
In Love with a Serial Killer - Sandy Fawkes
Bled Dry: A Tale of Vegas Vampires - Erin McCarthney
Let's Meet at Platform 8 - Carole Matthews
Love Letters - Anne Cassidy
Love Dreams - Denise Colby
The Nerd Who Loved Me - Vicki Lewis Thompson
Perfect Chemistry - Simone Elkeles
Nerds Like it Hot! - Vicki Lewis Thompson
Chelsea Handler: My Horizontal Life - Chelsea Handler
Miss America - Suzanne Phillips
Crystal - Katie Price

Yea. Crystal was the last book that i've just read at the moment. Gloriously infectious indeed. This story covers betrayal, finding true love but at the same time, Crystal REALLY went through a very very difficult life man. Imagine facing the press, tabloids surfacing all the rumours of she hooking up with her friend's boyfriend, really all the crap that's utter bollocks! And the man whom she loved, lost trust in her, worse, humiliated her. It's like a dagger pierced into her heart please. At times I really FEEL for her man. Damn emotional. I strongly recommend this book as much as Perfect Chemistry (targetting more to the teenagers) But Crystal is perhaps an M18 book. Haha!

Anyway just to share an interesting book which is My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler, I did have a good laugh when reading this book. Is about Chelsea Handler who had one-night stands with different type of man and she shared her experiences of different man. Midgets, Blacks, Big & Small Little Brothers' these man have, HAHAHAHA! It's really damn funny.

Surprisingly, i survived yesterday. Although Dinner was torturing, having to stuff the food in my mouth and chewed them at fast-forward speed. I never wanna go through it again. Dont ever force me to eat fast, i really REALLY cant.

Mañana will be fatal. Next Tues I will be deprived of oxygen. I'm looking forward to the following week whereby I will be out of touch from reality and passed into a deep slumber, everyday in that week; i'm referring to the mid-days.

Reading Perfect Chemistry has definitely heightened my knowledge on Spanish a little. Cause Alejandro Fuentes is a Mexicano~. Haha!! I cant stop flipping the pages of this amazing book, this is crazy.



I came back from Van's chalet/bbq and I was hurt emotionally. I dont know about Van but I feel her pain is like as if it's mine as well, behind those glistened eyes, even though my night vision is poor but my eyes cant be playing tricks on me. No, she didnt let any of her tears do the talking but she was able to control & hide her feelings. Mujer, you are wayyyyy better than me, seriously.



Do i even have the right to knock some sense into the very thick skull of her pri-sec friends who built a decade friendship with her, that they stood her up with their ludicrous excuses(which have the ability to make her ear drums bleed). Hello? VERY NICE move on a bd girl hur? Thanks perra-s!


Like what i've witnessed before my eyes, as usual, if it can happen to her, it can also happen to me. Personally I do not wish to welcome it next year when i hit 21. I guess i will just wish my wishes are fulfilled and if an invitation of friends would ruddy hell show their true colours (flying my kite last minute) THANK YOU, FER-RANDS! This is the biggest hint to me, pretty pathetic that it takes me 21 years of my entire life to know that the word "friends" doesn't exist in my dictionary at all.

Ay Dios Mio!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahaha YAY!!!!!!!!

I cant believe it man, am i still in dreamland? A few days ago I was rather pissed with myself for adamantly not jotting down the title of the song, the music that was playing at the Times bookshop because i figured out already and the title of the song is frickin' SIMPLE! TOO complacent already hur?... thinking that i have a photographic memory but only to find out when i left the place and on the way to Bishan then i realised... the song title and even a minuscule part of the music rhythm or beat to it etc. had been obliterated in my mind! -.- seriously wth can~...

But just now when i was conscious from my slumber, AMAZINGLY my brain suddenly acts up like a radio. The song was literally REPLAYING in my mind again man. It's very sudden and unexpected. But a mere part only. So I tried to push myself to go on... try to uncover more of the lyrics and after a few attempts my brain seem to be cooperating with me pretty well and BINGO!

The song title is My Kind of Girl by Brian McKnight and Justin Timberlake. Check it out here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkKhC18T5lM This is the live version but it's only Brian McKnight singing. I cant find a version whereby both of them are singing together. The song is really nice!!! :D

And you can guess what i'm gonna say now... hahaha. Simone Elkeles' PERFECT CHEMISTRY is really the PERFECT BOOK ever!!!!! This 1-inch thick book consisting of 357 pages is an ultimate page-turner. I finished reading it at 3am Tuesday night/dawn, in a single day. Whoa... my personal record man. This addictive book really is the bomb! If it ever ever becomes a movie, IM SOOOOOOO GONNA CATCH IT. And this IS the book i was referring to, the next big thing after Twilight. (:

And i love love LOVEEEE the male lead character, Alejandro Fuentes aka ALEX Fuentes!! (X

I just cant seem to enjoy this so-called 'A sizzler romance you can get stuck into'-novel, instead it triggered some soporfic effect in me and i would oscitate in the midst of reading, HAHA! Sorry man, it's my 2nd attempt to read another novel of yours but somehow i cant relate to your stories at all. It's my last time to touch your book again.

TUES-day! Argh.. I have school! And the torrid heat of the afternoon is increasing in intensity. In fact there's nothing much to rant in here except for the same old carping of the weather and my journey-to-the-west that left me frazzled just before the night comes to an end.

I just hope to sweat less. that's all i wanted.

From this moment, i will live by the maxim; "Change your thought and you change your world." at least, for now.

And THANKS AH! -.- Now I've no face, NO FACE to even step out of the house. Thanks to YOU! -.-"""

You know what's women's WORST enemy? It starts with the letter 'P'. Figure it out yourself.

I'm pooped. goodbye for now.

Last tues, my instructor's "Hiong Ah!" really made me cachinnate when i break this incident to my sister. But besides those laughs, on the other hand, i was endangering two lifes as well. Having not considered the ramifications of my action, an accident or being 'booked' by Uncle Sam would have been inevitable. And all I could assure him was, " It'd never happen again." Because I myself, I couldn't believe how i survived that ordeal. I did felt that fear throbbing in my heart that i could land myself in a state of unconsciousness and the next moment when i see light again, i would be, in, a hospital, by then.

I ate Hokkien Mee for the first time this year, 2009, today. Hah Hah Hah! I savoured every mouthful and the carrot cake as well, mon dieu! I dont know if I was ravenous or not but my lunch was totally delectabe. (((:

and the consequences? adding 800 (or more) calories into my body in just a meal. -.-

You just cant indulge in a scrumptious meal and not gaining a ginormous amount of calories.

I think I have recently made an impetuous decision, and I felt a tinge of regret for being impulsive, now, come to think of it. because i thought i was able to cope, well, if comparing it against time. yes. I can manage with my time, BUT, financially... oh man! i think my dinners on the days i have school, it'd be all home-packed toasted bread slathered with kaya or peanut butter -.- eeeeww, i had them enough for breakfast, not again for dinner? tell me what's filling and doesn't cost much?

It'd probably be the next big thing after Twilight.

'That' spells L.A.U.G.H

I just want to share about this amazing author who writes about her characters' dialogues in the novel, Bled Dry. I almost burst out laughing in the bus on my way home from AMK.



Ok a brief description for you, I just read the introduction of Bled Dry , this novel about this girl named, Brittany, she was confirmed of her pregnancy by her general practitioner. She didnt expect it, and the child's father is a vampire whom she had a one night stand with. And the funny thing is, she was unaware that the male vampire had sperm. (HAHA!) and its pretty obvious that the vampire did not use birth control. So this is what was written in the novel;



' "Well, I had no idea." That vampires had sperm. What a stupid assumption on her part. She'd given him her blood and her body, and now he had given her a baby. Holy crap. It really would have been nice if he had warned her his boys could still swim....'
- LOL! The last sentence was the funny part.



So when Brittany finally tell the vampire that she is pregnant, he couldnt believe it and asked her if she was certain. And then he tried to recall about that night when they slept together, then he said, " We didn't use birth control." and Brittany replied "No. But I didn't think you had sperm" And this time, the vampire felt insulted (HAHA!) and say this to her...



" Of course I have sperm. I am still a man. I still function, do I not? I have everything that is manly the same as a mortal." - HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I dont know if any of you readers find it funny but imagining him saying to her, the conversation is damnnnn hilarious la!!!!

Even though the vampire is responsible enough to suggest marriage, but she was unwilling as she doesnt know him well. Then another humorous part is she mentioned that she didnt even see his naked body kind (so sounds like the lights were out when they were mating) So in the book it wrote;

' She'd never even seen him naked, and how sad was that? She checked out his butt as he left the room. It was very sad. ' - HAHAHAHA!!! I dont know if you read, will you find no humour in it at all, but seriously its damn funny when you picture it in your mind the whole situation, conversation. The novel is entertaining but today I was deprived of my afternoon naps. I had late lunch and i didn't even manage to flop down on my comfy bed, instead i had to sit on the chair and lean my body on the bed, to avoid my stomach laying on a horizontal position.

And i'm truly sorry if i'm turning this blog into a book review blog. Lol. Because my life is really that mundane. But I wished to involve myself in some physical activities like sports, i reminisced of late secondary-to-beginning of poly days of basketball with my secondary school classmates, badminton with poly mates, Year 3 APEL lessons of Table Tennis with my careperson and classmates, and especially BOWLING !!! OMG!! I'm so rooting for bowling, I hope someone would just kidnap me and dragggg me to the bowling alley. And.... frankly speaking, i'm hoping one day i can try out soccer. HAHAHA!! Soccer? so out of the blue right? And so not me. And obviously I had the "No-Soccer" face but come to think of it, I did had an experience of soccer training when I was in primary school during sundays. (it's an external class with many other boysss) And sure enough I was the isolated girl, surrounded by big, small, thin and fat boys of different races. Back then i was quite short but very fat HAHA and i was asked to join some lower primary boys to play with them (Back then I was Pri 4 ok?? -.-) And those little rambunctious boys are so hardcore soccer fanatic like as if the word 'SOCCER' revolves around their world, totally. For me i thought Barbie Doll deserves my attention more. Haha! Anyway, I joined in with them and we started to picture ourselves as Man United Team (they are ardent supporters of them), calling ourselves the names of our soccer idol (LOL! Now rewinding about this, it's so childish HAHA!) And one called himself Scholes, another was Giggs, Beckham and I was... Solskjaer! HAHAHA! Wth! I was really 'SO-SHY' man! -.- Cant believe Soccer was even part of a paragraph in my life. but still, i still wouldn't mind trying out various sports, because now it seems i'm more laidback and i would embrace any forms of fun-filled activities that comes towards my direction. Bring it on. I'll try. (:

pressure-RISE

I gaped at my student's work, dumbfounded with what was before my eyes. It seems that being a tutor isn't a very simple job after all, especially when the student's foundation is below the standard of one grade lower than him.

I have a test coming up later, have yet to revise and so i'd better start flipping through the notes, if not i would end up staring at the question, doubts and confusions flooding my head and i wont be at ease after the end of the paper because i know i asked for it (that's the result for not studying la!) -.-

It seems that things aren't going my way, very smoothly as i would have expected. People withdrawing from planned agendas, or obstinately refused to adhere to instructions when doing their errands. If you say the first group of people doesn't have the word "responsibility" in their dictionary, or it is even my foible to have a "I-expect-things-to-go-my-way" character, then fine. I will swallow this fact and keep all my sarky comments sealed behind my lips. As for the second group of people, I don't know if they are being deliberately obtuse or just purely nescient. Whatever it is, I was on the verge of unleashing my anger as the annoyance rekindled in me is overpowering. Before all the rage and anger simmering inside me erupt, I better look for my medicine to calm my soul and that is to.......... sleep or maybe, just read my storybooks(still quite a number to complete), hoping it would cause the bitterness in me to slowly dissipate. HOPEFULLY. -.-

My Best Friend's Girl

From the bottom of my heart, one of my favourite novel of all time will be Dorothy Koomson's My Best Friend's Girl. Seriously, the DAMNEDEST of all! This book should be made into a film; series would be encouraged. But if made into a movie, it'd be too short of a time. I strongly recommend this book, esp to women. And I'm gonna rate it 9.0/10.

National Day doesnt seem like National Day to me. Just a typical Sunday, haha. I spend my entire day/afternoon (of course it comes with some naps in between)/night, reading the storybook and even until past midnight I still fought with my heavy lids to finish reading this novel. This book is definitely worth the buy.

Sat I went to Expo Borders Bookfair and I spent 20 bucks for... guess how many books i've got? HEHE! one two three FOUR! =D If i were to describe one word on how I felt, the word will be "elated".

Anyway i'm suppose to divert my attention to my studies but my hands never leave my storybook. The only thing i've been doing is... on the PC, log on to RC, read my storybook and sometimes refer to online dictionary, then, snooze in the mid-day, wake up, read storybook again, go to the gym, bathe, eat, read storybook again until the last few things on my agenda is... brush teeth, slather pimple cream on my face and BAM! collaspe on the bed. the end.

I still wouldn't say reading is my hobby yet.

Mix & Match

Greetings! (: I've gotten myself a brand new Sony Ericsson mobile phone after renewing my contract, slightly slimmer by a few mm as compared to my current. still, i never regret using my first sony ericsson phone (K810i) It's been a marvellous 2-years experience with it, only perhaps... the battery is not as lasting as nokia. other than that, its other features definitely perform better than other phones like samsung, LG and nokia. (:

I've read finished Assassin ytd. After reading it, I can only voice out some comments and whether it's true or not (still, debatable though.), it is up to one's point of view. Men, nevertheless, are adept at sweet talking, cajoling the dumbest creatures on earth (apparently they are women. HAHA!) in order to achieve what they want, ultimately. Especially charming men have the added advantage, their magnetic charm is able to lure us into complying with whatever that was instructed by them. In this case, Arabella (the female lead character in the story book) was a fallen victim of the assassin of President Abraham Lincoln, John Wilkes Booth. She was beguiled by his smooth talk, and she had indirectly, caused the assassination of the US President to be a success. But as a reader, I wouldnt completely think that she deserved to feel guilty through out her life for the fate of President Lincoln, partly Wilkies is one contemptible bastard back in history, who made use of women's feelings to carry out his plot of assassinating the President. As i approached the last few chapters of the story, every part of Wilkes' story made me feel like laying one tight slap on his face. Hahaha! Ok, whatever! he is dead more than a century ago so may the past live in the history, and may the present not repeat anything in the past (: So you get what I'm trying to hint?

Never Trust Men. Fullstop. (Lol!)

Yesterday I think I experienced a few hours of amnesia. I actually missed my first lesson of a new tuition at Pasir Ris. (omg!) I DID WROTE ON MY SCHEDULE AND YET IT SLIPPED OFF MY MIND!! =/ Tsk Tsk Tsk! When the parent called me, i was still oblivious that I had missed her child's tuition until she mentioned, "erm... you are supposed to turn up for tuition today right? remember?" ZOMG! I could feel the impact of the sudden shock flushed through my whole body. My mind went blank for a split second, then slowly the image of "P3 Maths Pasir Ris" from my schedule crossed through my mind. Totally lost for words for a moment and instantly I was engulfed with guilt. I wanted to express my sincerest apologies a trillion times and to my surprise, the parent actually told me to come again next week instead of lecturing me on my irresponsibility, questioning my absence and feeling shut off by my "it-slipped-off-my-mind" excuse. I couldnt believe what was registered to my ears. She actually said I could come again next week? After hanging up the phone, i ought to send her a text of apology once again and i did. Seriously, this parent is really nice, super to the max! And so... next week pls irene, pls remember if not I can jolly well get my throat cut.

Heh Heh! This weekend there's Borders BookFair I ought to get my ass there! I'm expecting a big crowd but still, the long queue and wait is worth in exchange for cheap books yea? (:

I'm hoping that today would be extraordinary as a game of bowling would be coming my way. However, my hopes were crushed when my sister had to call off the idea yesterday. ): I'm pinning my hopes on Asri now, ASRI pleasssseeeeeee... i wannt tooooo BOOOWWWLLLL ! pls call me soon for a game. hahaha!

Boom Boom BOMB!

Today, yet again, is another day I spent a bomb. Ok seriously speaking, i eat into half of my current savings, hmmm, and not forgetting i still have other expenses to clear. This period I really fork out A LOT of $$$. I'm in desperation of Toto's winnings and Singapore Big Sweep (Tomorrow is finally the day!) And hopefully i will experience a miracle.. (maybe not, like what are the chances man?) Still, may God showers money from heaven into my pocket and i will shower these blessings from my blesser to my loved ones. (:

And true enough, i really did ta-pao bread from my home to school because i'm really penniless, i even had to negotiate with the cab uncle to give me a ride to clementi for only 18bucks (at peak hours!) and i pity him that he met a passenger like me (haha!) A thousand apologies, I was running late and the MRT is not as efficient in terms of speed as compared to the cab.

Anyway, it seems I've never failed to express my utmost dissatisfaction about the ultra HOT ovenlike weather. An egg will become hard boiled the moment its in the Sun for 15 mins. My whole body is excreting out sweat like nobody's business. This is terrible. and worst still, when i was at the bus stop, to my greatest shock, I left the house without my ezlink. -_-" I had to hasten my way back home, the feeling of annoyance filled in me. I had threw away 21 minutes of precious, irretrievable TIME in my life. ): ... Okok.. cool down... At least right NOW, Tuesday will be gone in a few moments time. I should plan my finance properly for the next week, hopefully I can control my spending. (: AND... try... my best.... to complain less about the weather. HAHA!

No shield

I've finally read finished New Moon like FINALLY! *evil laughs~* slow like a tortoise, but still, i managed to finish the race. Hoho! Next up, I'm gonna read this hard paper cover by Anna Myers; titled Assassin. It's about the story of how US President Abraham Lincoln had been assassinated by John Wilkes Booth. But well, this story revolves around the main character named Bella... i researched on who the hell is this lady and how is she related to Abraham Lincoln or John Wilkes Booth but I found nth. =/ maybe she is the accomplice of John Wilkes Booth.. haha. wild guess. read finish then i'll probably get the answer i want.

Today i wandered around 'Orchard-In-The-East' Haha, pretty obvious that you'll know where I'm referring yea? (: And there happened to have the NDP Roadshow, the host was asking some qns and one of the qns he asked a man was; ' So, what do you like about Singapore?' And guess what was the man's reply? he actually said, "The WEATHER!" ... OMG? I grimaced, jaw dropped as well. "Weather?" the word echoed in my mind again. Like since when the sweltering weather is something worth appreciating. Maybe to ppl who loveeeeddddd SUN TANNING, but count me out. =X Haha. Pls man, if the weather is windy and cloudy, i'll agree with the answer to the max!

Today i spent a bomb. Really a bomb, exploded already. My wallet has a big hole now. I better stay at home tml, dont go out. Caged myself in my room, enter dreamland in the mid-day, sweat out.. tues, i better ta-pao bread to Clementi. time to save money. (but i bet i wont do tt. Hahaha!!) And I need to get a new ezlink card soon-_-

Stand By Me

I COULD have done so - blasting the music out loud that I'll awake the dead. Haha! But, no. I cant do that. After all, I'm a considerate neighbour-next-door. (: Today is G.O.O.D in a sense, i had the energy to sweat out for 45mins. HEHE! and I didn't even have my time for naps you know? And and and... another thing to be happy about, was.. I've got part of my pay today!! =D *eyes twinkling with happiness, smile broadening so wide, exposing my pearly teeth* Hahaha!! =D

I saw this in today's newspaper. I really hope SBS Transit meant what they say. Waiting for bus 9 and 12 is like waiting for rain in the desert, dont let me down and I promise I'll take your rides more often ok? (:

After scanning through my organizer, I realised my Monday is free! Ahhhh!! Bowling immediately came to my mind but but but, I have to divert this attention to my studies instead -_- which showed the most signs of neglect, I even had a test the next day. Awwwww~!~!!!

Hmmm, it has been quite some time since I last met Rihanna. kinda miss her ):

I missed playing pool too!! It's been awhile since PP smelt us. Hahaha!

Q: How to make Lady Gaga cry?

A: Poke Her Face (aka Pok-er-face)

Q: How to make Lady gaga smile again? (:

A: Just Dance~

Tired

I was about to say; I cannot take it already. I really need to recharge myself with sleeps & rests. Super drained. Here I am blogging, but I can step into dreamland the moment I collaspe on the bed RIGHT beside me, so tempted to do so. But the clock is ticking away, battling towards evening. Sigh. Clementi awaits me. Another day to conquer tml. I have to get changed sooonn. ): I wished I dont have to drag myself to clementi. 15 mins. just grant me 15 mins of peaceful darkness, hopefully I dont have to be a gracious commuter later. I need the seat for the 45mins journey. Give my legs a break for once.

Bowling

Wow yesterday was such a happening day. I was out of home from around 8+am in the morning until 11pm then i reached home. Basically my entire day was spent with Asri. I travelled all the way to Woodlands to meet him and we went down to Bukit Gombak area to play bowling. BOWLING! OMG, my skills are rusty already. But i really do miss bowling, the reminiscent of the past with my family + maid, learning and playing bowling together. haha. Bowling ytd was affordable, only $1.80 per game which i think tt's a pretty good deal (: Any one interested for a bowling game feel free to call me along, i'm getting to enjoy bowling like last time, many many many years back.

So in the evening, hopped on bus 184 from bukit panjang area until clementi. Clementi! Now the thought of going to clementi really is fatiguing. There is bus from Tampines to Woodlands now, i hope in the nearby future there will be a bus that goes from Simei to Clementi. Hahaha.

On the train back home, i was really feeling restless and i closed my eyes to let it rest, any time ready to snooze. So at one point in the central, there's this man (probably in his late 20s) that sat beside me, well, i was 80% awake, with my eyes still shut to give people the impression that i'm sleeping but i'm not. haha. So the thing about this man is he was talking to his friend who was standing and i kinda eavesdropped their conversation. The man beside me was saying " I'll dump her for this girl... " Instantly I regained back my focus and I've decided to merely squint my eyes to check out who is this jerk, unfortunately, sitted beside me that has such an unacceptable behaviour that is utterly loathsome. And the moment I broke the darkness into a faint, blurred vision of where I am, seated in the second carriage of the train, the first thing i witnessed was the man's thigh, the tattoo that was imprinted on his skin kinda intimidated me. I casted a glance at his friend who was standing, pretending it was a casual look but his friend was able to read my expression, offended. Oops =X I'm left with no choice, but to look away in case I've endangered my life with the possibility that he might let me have a taste of his fist for rudely exchanging that 'I-was-disgusted-by-you' look at him. But the man's incessant fidgetting of his legs beside me throughout the journey kinda irked me. Having said that, he continued with his story of how many girlfriends he had and he just couldn't wait to get rid of the girl for another and also inherit a will from a dying granny. I thought this kind of situation only happens in drama serials, but apparently i was wrong. Thankfully I alighted before them and I cabbed home.

Today there is no school (yes!!) but oh man, tml and friday I will be in clementi again ): . sighs. In the mean time, i should treasure today, have a good rest at home, go to the gym, sweat it out, take afternoon naps, complain abt the hot weather again etc. hahaha.

AND... woo hoo! ytd at the bowling alley I heard that song again!!! I really really cannot identify who is the singer and exactly what is the song name! BUT but but... after checking on billboard charts and scrutinizing every song, possible singer etc. FI-NA-LLY!!! muhahahaha. The song which i thought was "A-BOUT-TO-Feel-You" turn out to be "A-BAT-TLE-Fi-ELD~"

WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!! LOL! Freakin' misleading...

Hence the culprit was none other than; Jordin Sparks. Jokes!

Time is not in my hands

I will smile to myself each time I glanced at my PC’s wallpaper. Hehehe! (= Sat and Sun’s late night movies were awesome; The Illusionist (Sat) and Fantastic Four (Sun). But seriously, I've never regretted watching ‘ The Illusionist'. Great Plot. Thumbs Up! ;) as for Fantastic Four, the only factor that keeps me smiling is the fact that one of the casts is Chris Evans. HAHAHA!

I’m left with one-third of the pages more to complete reading New Moon. (Ok I know I’m slow, ever since during my poly days, people are already on the verge of reading the complete book of Eclipse, AND I’M ONLY AT NEW MOON!!) I’m quite surprised at the effort I’ve put in when reading such novels. Haha. But recalling the thickness of Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, I just felt the sudden draining of my energy and mood. The thought of “wth-you've-got-to-start-reading-from-page1-of-a-500pluspages-book” occurred in my mind. And I forgot I still had a few books I've bought from the Books Warehouse Sale… LAST YEAR! which I have yet to touch, not even flipping through the pages. And, I still got the cheek to even have the intention of going to the AMK book warehouse sale this coming week. (-_-“)

Last week was an exhausting week. The long hours of travelling and school have wearied me. And I’m deprived of physical exercise, obviously. On some occasions, I have to force myself to the gym on scorching hot afternoons/late mornings of the day (yuck-_-) due to the fact that my evenings are preoccupied with school and tuition. Unless the rain would come splattering against the windows, then, you would be able to see a broader smile across my face. I just luuuurrrrvvvveeeddd the cold weather that would send shivers up a person’s spine. (definitely not mine because I can tolerate it heh heh!) So if you’re someone who can’t tolerate cold temperatures, you are not my match. Hah!

Goodbye to the Past

I'm putting away the past. (I dont know how many times I've mentioned this) Well, do you remember exactly when blogs start to become popular among everyone? That was probably, 7 years back i guess? Some thought I would have a blog, some dont. Even if they think I would, and asked, they didn't seem to get the answer that they want. In other words, yup, i dont have. You know what's a white lie right? (:

The truth is, I've always had one. Even when there was a time I shut it down. I've always reopened a new website, just that no one could access to it. After all, blog is like a diary, which is where you vent all your frustrations, unhappiness, unfairness and all the 'not-so-good' about life here. Life is full of drama. Too much until I'm only able to sustain my blog with a 2-years lifespan. Because after two years of emotional ups & downs (more of 'downs'), too overwhelming, time for a break. I need it, you need it too. Hence, it's time to close another chapter of my life. And... reopen a new one (:

In other words, it's a beginning of another chapter.

I've finally deleted more than 100+ blog entries... but i will still keep some. cos its really memorable that i cant bear to give it up. but most of the i saved under drafts.

A series of Random feelings

I had to get out of my comfort zone. If i carried on sinking myself into darkness (what i meant was to carry on sleeping haha), i will never get out of the house. So....... GET YOUR ASS OFF YOUR COMFY BED AND DRAG YOUR LEGS TO THE GYM! I was a little reluctant but i had to do as i've sinned by drinking white chocolate mocha from starbucks the night b4.

I'm hoping there is a day whereby i can be bothered to clear my study table as it is an eye sore now. Oh and i forgot to mention, my dressing table especially.

Last month i made a hunt on several hair salons on which offers the best hair treatment offer to me. This time, i shall look for the one that offers the best for coloring my hair. Even though Lilo (my hair stylist from Jean Yip) suggested Red, but i thought it was a little too unnatural. Still, give me something brown or an even SEX-IER brown like copper or bronze or just BROWN. Brown chocolate cake, tree trunk Brown, something that is really Brown to the extent it is far too sexy to resist. Maybe i sounded a lil exaggerating. pardon me.

I feel that my wardrobe wants new food, but i'm penniless at the moment to afford any. I should get some b4 the GSS ends. That's for sure. If not i will live to regret and wait until next year again? by then if you spotted my white hair, pull it out for me. Thank you.

Somehow i wonder to myself if 'Forums' serve its purpose well, or the users are abusing it? I read this particular forum and seriously speaking that user really needs some life. Maybe you want to correct me on the definition of FORUM.

' Forum is a place, situation, or event in which people exchange ideas and discuss issues that are important to them. '

sometimes i feel that the Forum is one of the most deadly place to go. Cos u think you have the freedom of speech, freedom of expressing your ideas, thoughts and comments... but you do not hav any defence (even if there is, they are hardly visible). Cos many other ppl will come attacking your ideas and whatever issues you've discussed even though you thought it wasn't meant to harm anyone, especially the subject.

Even until now, i still hoped i could win lottery or singapore big sweep. I never really did give up hope on it.

I'm feeling greedy and yearns for more vouchers from my mother, but i realise my purpose was to help others rather than to spend those luxury on myself. Now that's foolish of me, AGAIN.

It would be interesting if ever a day i am able to read people's mind. Just one day will do. or how abt the ability to fly ? (that was what my sister wanted) maybe the first thing i would do is to fly with those crows and black birds, those culprits of the bird shits on my dad's car. Well, definitely i dont wanna befriend those birds, i wanna fly next to them and send them back to our earthly land. (what i meant was, i wanna whack them until they fall frm the sky and land on the ground, dead. haha)

If i can choose to have a photoshoot with a local celebrity, he is gonna be TAY PING HUI ! :D
How about the privilege to choose who you want to co-star with in a local drama production? he is still gonna be TAY PING HUI ! :D
Or maybe the honour to have lunch/dinner with a local celebrity? he is gonna be TAY PING HUI ! :D
Are you convinced that i'm currently head over heels over this celebrity after what i said? in fact i hope not. HAHA. mind you, he can be my father already.

If there is a series of unfortunate events happening around your life, what do you do? maybe i just want to be put to sleep and at least give me a chance to hug my pillow before i face whatever that is waiting for me.

I really hope my mode of transport is made convenient for travelling. Perhaps that's one of the reason why i turned to gambling.

Relationship - Just me or you or we?

Just came home after meeting a friend who shared with me his problems with his ex-gf. Well, not that i will expose anything private abt his life but just wanna mention some general erm, 'problem' with girls these days.

I absolutely hate the fact that girls have this thinking when guys go on a date with a girl, the guy will HAVE TO PAY for everything? Like wth? Excuse me spoilt brats ( or "princesses-in-their-dreams") that exists in this society right now, your bf is not your next atm machine for goodness sake. And having such a thinking really makes me pity you that you are living on another planet with a pathetic immatured mindset. Ok YES! Guys should be more 'gentlemen' in that sense, but not with that concept that a 'gentlemen' MUST include PAYING for everything in a date. IF i'm a guy and my gf has such a thinking, i rather give up on such girls pls. I dont understand why girls cant be more understanding and be a little more 'matured' pls. What i mean 'matured' is like, you cant rely on a guy forever. A girl with no independence is just like an egg . (ok i know this is a lousy example HAHA). You see, just picture an egg on your mind. if an egg is not placed on the egg tray, do you think it can stand up straight? IT CAN NEVER BE STRAIGHT. it just keeps erm... 'wobbling' hahahaha!! what a word to describe it. But when an egg has the egg tray (in this case, the egg tray is sort of referring to the word independence.) Then it is able to stand on this own.

Ok i know im not attached and girls may think that "I DONT KNOW" cos i nv go thru it. But it's pretty obvious that you've got to think for the other party right? Who exactly is truely giving and loving in a relationship? the guy or the girl or BOTH the guy & the girl? Shouldnt the answer be the 3rd one? If you really love your bf a lot, instead of always thinking for and ABOUT yourself, can you also think for and ABOUT him? If you expect your bf to fufill his role as being a bf, i think u girls should also fufill your role as a gf. The least your bf really needs from you is your understanding. And also to mention in another scenario, even if you are short of money, u can go on a date tt's really "budget" kind. A date doesnt mean wad, go watch movie, eat luxurious dinner etc etc. A date can also mean spending time at a beach or go rollerblading/cycling or.. ahh!! one romantic 'budget' date is i feel la, the bf rides bicycle and the gf will sit behind him on the bike. then can cycle around and dinner could be worth 90cents per person, which is eating cup noodles tgt outside 7-eleven. Then cycle back home. Isn't this sweet enough? Like more creative instead of those typical Date = Dinner + Movie. -_- Be more creative la. I tink i can be a damn good bf la. HAHAHA.

I rmb i did a test b4. It is like a magic test la. If there is a supernatural magic power to be cast onto you. What would you want to get?
A) A sex transfomation
B) The power to be able to fly
C) Immortality
D) The power to read ppl's mind

Haha. I was in a dilema to choose btwn A and D. And i really cannot decide man. haha because i really wanted both. And of cos imagine i can change my sex to become a guy. I like the challenge of chasing a girl of my dreams. Cant possibly a girl chasing a guy... erm... ok sry im kinda traditional a bit. ya i knw now the generation is different. Girls also do make the first move now a days but sorry i dont wanna be in that category YET. haha!

Another problem that my friend faced is the gf would erm, initiate for breakups unexpectedly without valid reasons. Anyway a word for guys, should your gf throw temper at you unnecessarily, first, pls find out if she is having her period, pre and post period in fact. Because when woman goes thru this stage every month, their mood is never good. so its actually quite normal for them to feel foul and moodless. And if they say smth harsh tt really hurts your heart at tt point of time. PLS give them a chance. I know as girls we are at fault that we couldnt control our mood/feelings/emotions or whatever, just everything tgt la, i'm sry tt we failed to put ourselves in your shoes, i'm sry tt we failed to understand that venting our frustration on you doesnt improve our condition (during those few days when we are having our menses) at all but they say it accidentally. It's really accidentally and it WASN'T serious. So i really hope guys please forgive your gf for saying words tt hurt your heart cos eventually after our period is over, we will eventually reflect and realise what we've said that hurt your heart, then after tt we're surely make the first move to apologize to you.

My friend did asked me what kind of guys tt i'm attracted to. It's quite difficult to answer him cos the answer you give might not be what you will get when you finally be in a relationship. Is like an eg. i told him, I will say, i dont like guys who smoke, but i might end up liking a guy, who happens to have a habit of smoking -_- so that's a ... point which i really dont like but i still cant deny the fact tt i have some feelings for him u see. I cant give a solid answer but i think i can say is im better off a good friend rather than a girlfriend. Gd friends also can show care and concern to what. Just that the difference is u cant be intimate with them or stay at their place kind of thing? HAHAHA.

Actually if u asked me whether i'm waiting for my Mr Right. I tell you, i'm waiting to achieve my dream career. Hahaha! Cos to be honest, im quite a career-minded woman. I see my career as my no. 1 importance in my life but it seems tt after doing some personality test, Friendship to me is like my precious gold. I dont get to experience true friendship which is actually smth i really really wished i could have in my life. since i dont have it, so my next thing i would strife to achieve is my dream career lor.

Ok what a long entry. sry man. i cant wait to bathe and go to the gym! feeling so damn sticky. yucks. maybe i shld go gym tml instead since i've made an effort to run 40mins ytd. Gd job irene! (: hopefully i'll have energy to run 40mins tml. I HOPE! haha.

QUIZBOX

What does being a friend really mean to you?

You value your friendships: 75%

You love your friends very much (obviously) - so much so that it's actually quite a worry. (oh.. ok) You may not be able to cope very well when you do lose somebody's friendship. (that's true) You are a very sensitive and fragile person (i admit it), and are therefore likely to get upset easily. (yes) You care for your friends and are willing to do anything that they ask you to do. (yes.)Sometimes this can make your friends think that you are a bit of a nuisance. (thanks.. now i knw that i am one...) Nevertheless, people do really love you because your highest priority is your friends. (really?? not convincing)


Your Hidden Talent

Here is the analysis:

The Artist

You love freedom and want to follow your heart's desires. You might not be at your best when dealing with other people. Once you are given the opportunity to work your chosen way, your gift will shine. A tip for you is not to concentrate too much on your own work, but widen your focus and consider the opinions of other people.

The Eating Test

Here is the analysis:

You've made your way well in this world despite all the obstacles you've had to faced. You have survived a lot more troubles than most people. You have had to deal with difficult people, ridiculous rules, and tempestuous relationships.

Love for you can be as intense as the fire on the face of the sun. You are either very calm on the inside when there is a lot of insanity going on around you, or you shut people up and take charge. You can go to a movie by yourself. (This is true) You are as comfortable alone as you are with others. You are angry at your parents but you can't change them. (SO true!)

You are a great lover (thanks thanks) when you find that rare mate who is your equal, otherwise your relationships do not go well. Life is a roller coaster, and you are finding ways to make the good times better. You love sports. (huh????)

Psychological Test

Here is the analysis:
You have a complicated personality. (maybe)
How ambitious you are depends on the height that you answered, which is: Top. (ya.. very!)
You are stubborn, the size of this personality as seen by others is big. (ok then...)
Glass means fragile personality. (after seeing other tests analysis... i guess i am.)
You are also down-to-earth.
You are an opportunist.
Your husband or wife is the one you need when you are in trouble.

The Real You

Here is the analysis:
You are a very serious person. You tend to be quiet and well behaved, and you don't have a great deal of self-confidence. You prefer to be alone rather than with friends and that could make you a little less interesting to certain types of guys. You are very attractive in an individual kind of way, and this means it can take people a little while to get to like you.

You don't really care about other people's feelings. (......) You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. (.........) You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn't always about parties.

You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.

Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up--it's okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side. (i dont even know what is my fun-loving side)

Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

What's on Your Mind?

Here is the analysis:

You think money and love are equally important. (NO... $$$ is more impt NOW. logically speaking.) You have an interest in many things in life, and work hard to ensure that you maintain a healthy balance between work, play and love. However, you tend to be unable to decide on what you really want to do with your life. You wouldn't dream of leaving your loved one for one or two million dollars, but you would have to reconsider if the offer rose to 100 million dollars. (yesyesyes!! hahahaha. OK!! I WILL LEAVE!!)


Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them. (..... SHUT UP!)

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love. (dont let it happen pls)

Your views on education:
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.