Next year will be MY year. The 'I' word stands out more than 'you'. I make every single decision on my own, even if the consequence is having a halved-lifespan. Someone in da house is more than happy to see me approaching my shortened life. Dont be fooled by facial expressions and faked emotions, they are easily manupulated and shaped in a way to make it look super duper convincing. I'm not a kid anymore. (=

Have you heard of igongzai ?

http://www.igongzai.com/

Dont ever EVER waste your precious hard-earn/saved money to spend on it. I guarantee you, 100% disappointment in return. Trust me.


I think I've hurt Muscles a lot. He is really very sad.
And he made me want to cry many times.

Maybe i oversee too much on the bad side rather than on the good side. What's good?
- He is very patient when training me and yet i'm very impatient with myself for having no strength to train.
- He never failed to text me with his smiles in his msgs. And yet i hardly do that.
- He doesnt gets angry/throws temper at me unless i started it.

You dont want me to list down all the bads. It's scary. But Mel thinks I shouldnt just hide my feelings.

Sometimes i hide cos i want to avoid big quarrels. Big quarrels evolved from small petty matters are the silliest. Yea? Nod your head pls. Thnks.

My biggest fear is gone (:

Thank you for coming, even though you are late, but at least you came (:

My feelings went "numb" this morning. Totally lost for words already.

You can start a relationship with hell lots of effort... and you can destroy it with a single action.



I really hate it when a person doesnt keep his words.

my dear is sad.

my love is fading.

tdy, all in all, isnt a gd one.

I am about 2 weeks late, one down, one more to go!

WARNING! - This is gonna be quite a long or boring post.

I read my diary. On 27/7/07, my entry was something to do abt answering some relationship questions, or some issues regarding you and your partner.

After reading the questions and answers, i feel that my answers nv change. And i felt really emotional when i read my answers. Cos back then when i was single and i really really love this guy, i feel that the love i would have given to him, is exactly what Muscles is experiencing right now.

The question and answer that i really feel it in my heart (well, its nt in a gd way) is;
Q: If you had a magic wand, what would you change about your mate?
A: I would make him be more open to me. Don't ignore me even when he is at his busiest moment, at least let me know what he is going through, I promise i will understand. I want the "old" him where he would come late online just to talk and "see" me for a few short minutes, even if its just 1 min, its ok. (But i think partly the reason why these are not happening because he has another girl in his heart already.)

Q: What if this never change? What if he will always remain the way he is now?
A: At least memories remain, rather than it did not happen b4. I got to experience what it is like when someone treasures you dearly..
(This is the key question and answer i feel most emotional at...surprisingly, when i'm single, i tend to think in a more matured way.)

I'm sorry to say, but at times i do feel i'm taken for granted. You can tell how much you are treasured, i'm not blind to be unable to realise it. It just takes a lil effort to show how much you really treasure the people around you. The saying goes; its better to give than to receive.
(I've given a lot)

It is true like what i said 2 years ago, Love is not the pillar of life.

It sux to have nothing...

And I regret snacking on dried cranberries just now. shet. I have the tendency to think abt snacks after meals. Muscles will kill me. No more carbs for the rest of the day!!

Dear M, I really really hope you will come. pls.